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Start of the Ending

by Alex-Ander

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1.
Alex-Ander: I been taking rappers off the earth, like they got no gravity Turning happy families into travesties ‘cause lately, I’ve been drowning in alcohol and selfishness Still got that heavenly flow, acting devilish I been digging deep to my roots Ignite the flame and get a buzz, piss you off with the truth I was left with a sparse piece of a care to give So I wasted that energy on another act of carelessness Dark mind shows inner demons Prodigy or mockery? Probably somewhere in between them Back against the world, killing everyone who stabbed it Backtrack habits for the sake of being drastic Fear normality, so I act insane “But these are the cards you were dealt” fuck that, I’ll hack the game Man I have restraint, but you just give the dog a bone Day-to-day, same song, different tone And life keeps falling off the edge with one hand gripped on Stress just gave me one last breath for this song And when you see me, I’m another average Joe Then you get past my colour and hear me catch a flow I got a filthy life, but I keep my flow immaculate And it’s inaccurate when you say I’m passionate I’m just a kid with dramatic reactions Steady keeping mishaps always happening, man I’m back again ------------------------------------------------------ Shawn South: Got it on the block, bust another shot Fingers up on the block, screaming fuck a cop Illest getting digits, yeah I’m selling cocaine And everybody know Imma sell the whole thing I don’t care what it is, I don’t care what it be Catch you slipping homie, make your heart skip a fucking beat Understand the concept that I bang straps Bullets get to flying now looking like it’s Baghdad Homie that’s Iraq, don’t even try that You looking like a damn sellout, I don’t ever buy that Like no way, everything is OK Had a court case but I beat it like I’m OJ Dunno, Imma let the gun go You can catch a shoulder, leaning never talking Young Dro Hustle all night, so you know your boy had a long day That’s why my attitude’s like Kanye Time is money, so you know I gotta go You a fucking hater, I be screaming adios Everyone know Shawn South so sick On my block we ain’t ever deal with that bullshit Like no way, get back, gun gon’ click clack Hollow tips to your head, put your fucking wig back Better know, homie Imma really dump it Gunshots make your body swole like a dumpling Thoughts just trifling, get close knife ‘em That girl you walk with, I will never wife her Shawn South just killed the cypher Yeah, just killed the cypher
2.
[Chorus/Hook] Cannot see Doesn’t mean I don’t believe Tell you I can feel it (x3) [Verse 1] Yeah, I can really feel it I know a lotta people look passed 'cause I write about real shit But let me take a minute and focus on my dream Not the daily threats about living broken, on the street And that’s how I was living Some of the mistakes I made are still sitting with me unforgiven To make it through this pain is all that I’m wishing And then later, have you give a flying fuck about what I’ve written But, nothing’s guaranteed Except your grave in the ground, buried, six feet deep But all you take my dream, and just play pass around While I’m pacing around this life, staring at the ground I’m gonna make it in this life, though Burn every wrong person down, who hates me ‘cause I’m right, 'bout Me going a lot further than they ever can I know for a fact that I’ll grow up to be a better man [Chorus/Hook] Cannot see Doesn’t mean I don’t believe Tell you I can feel it (x2) [Verse 2] I’m just tryna make it as myself Don’t wanna fuck around and act like someone else Been thinking that way since the beginning of time You can go and do your own thing while I do mine That’s how I was taught, that and to never give a fuck If you wanna think otherwise, better give it up Learned fast to learn fast, at the drop of a dime Don’t trust, even if it crosses your mind It’ll come back to haunt you, and they won’t care to Help you up ‘cause they already scared you Away, and now it’s up to you to fight Put that face on like, no one’s gonna fuck with me tonight I’m just trying float on, and live from my mistakes Put my hand out to ones in the same place Not perfect, but not complete opposite to me Not crazy, contrary to popular belief, fuck that [Chorus/Hook] Cannot see Doesn’t mean I don’t believe Tell you I can feel it (x2)
3.
[Chorus/Hook] - Sampled from "Wandering Stranger" by Lionel Richie I'm a wandering stranger Lost all alone I am a million miles away I know you're waiting for me To come home again But I'm searching for an answer Please try to understand [Verse 1] I wish I could say "no worries, I got you man" or "I got you fam" But doubt creeps beneath every pen that's reached my hand Battle wounds re-cut themselves when there's darkness in sight I'm not the only one who’s heartless in life. I'm not ashamed to say what I am or feel what I feel Sometimes I wanna laugh, sometimes I squeel Sometimes I wanna take out every knife from my back And slash and attack every bully that's ever come down my path And if they laugh, I'll catch a body in a flash Splash, bang, hang a body in the rafts Send them off to where they made me feel I was in They couldn't take how it feels and how I'm still here with a grin I've suppressed a lot of memories, and I've use some others People don't get that tragedy can be used after you suffer Make it into a lesson, and eventually a man Fuck it, why would I think anybody understands? [Chorus/Hook] - Sampled from "Wandering Stranger" by Lionel Richie I'm a wandering stranger Lost all alone I am a million miles away I know you're waiting for me To come home again But I'm searching for an answer Please try to understand [Verse 2] Fucking people gotta beef, fucking people gotta talk I can't be the only who feels like the world's got a job To feel like the world's against you, bad things tempt you There's no rescuing what you're into Man I look like I don't feel pain, like I'm well contained In my brain I see red like there's bloody rain In my own body I don't feel safe But I feel the urge to escape what’s been haunting my faith Jagged edges are the corners of every road through my journey The door to life closed at 10, it's 12:30 Do I get another chance? Or do I float on aimlessly Live more patiently? Or carry on painless, see- I'm always conflicted with my contrasting perspectives I'm just passionate about what I say with aggression I've been a fool and I've been fooled to give a chance- To many people who lied when they said they understand... [Chorus/Hook] - Sampled from "Wandering Stranger" by Lionel Richie I'm a wandering stranger Lost all alone I am a million miles away I know you're waiting for me To come home again But I'm searching for an answer Please try to understand [Verse 3] Man I've been the joker, man I've been loner Smoke weed to fall asleep, so fuck it, call me a stoner I know how the earth spins, we're all just one person Every generation takes a shot at life to learn shit In my time, I've learned that dogs will bark People will try to ruin your life until theirs fall apart If you took a shot in the dark, at least you shot the dark Some people just can't shine if they don't got the spark The flame won't grow but it'll will burn Down the road get the appreciation that you deserve Hard work's gotta pay off, I didn't get laid off I've been hauling ass every minute that my brain's on I'm not grown, but I've been growing nonstop The "easy route" was never a thing I got taught I take the back alleys to learn what I can Do it by myself, I need to, 'cause no one ever understands... [Chorus/Hook] - Sampled from "Wandering Stranger" by Lionel Richie I'm a wandering stranger Lost all alone I am a million miles away I know you're waiting for me To come home again But I'm searching for an answer Please try to understand
4.
[Verse 1] - Alex-Ander I wanna do drugs, I wanna get away I wanna tell myself that everything will be okay I want some sleeping pills, some psychotropics I don’t wanna live knowing life is hopeless What’s hopeless is the hope that I’m hoping for Burn a couple bridges, and then lead me to another broken door So I’m trapped, no way to escape Fuck it, I lost, I played to betray And now, here I lay, I’m just drowning in the brink of death Feel the brain cells dying so I’m thinking less All I can concentrate on is all the percocet Down a dozen more, I can’t feel them working yet It’s crazy what thoughts of suicide will do I can’t live when my life is something that I’m dying through The strongest medication can't get me to rest But this bullet can with a few knives in my chest [Chorus/Hook] - Alex-Ander What happens when you can’t breathe anymore fresh air? Do you deal with the toxins and act like you don’t care? Who learns? Who wins? ‘cause I’ve been wondering the same damn thing (x2) [Verse 2] - Basick Musick I'm drowning under the water, why bother with tryna breathe again? ‘Cause nothing but demons seem to be seeping in Inside of my heart, I’m fallin’ apart, ’n its hard to keep in check Fatherin’ a daughter that I’m afraid to see again ‘Cause I never had the proper father figure to base it on All of my life, I was raised by the greatest mom ’n I appreciate the hand I was given to fail Insistent to bail, but I’m livin’ still hitting’ the rails I’m trying’ hard to get over my fears, and i feel like the devil is near; ‘Cause hell is here And he’s plotting and planning, to take away all my sanity He’s blocking out the sun, while depression’s hittin’ me manically I’m practically within the noose of my life, ’n I seem to be losing the fight It’s like I’m choking, ’n hoping nobody cuts the rope Just let me go, to this better home, ‘n I’ll let you know You know? [Chorus/Hook] - Alex-Ander & Basick Musick What happens when you can’t breathe anymore fresh air? Do you deal with the toxins and act like you don’t care? Who learns? Who wins? ‘cause I’ve been wondering the same damn thing (x2) [Verse 3] - Alex-Ander I wanna live, I don’t wanna die If there’s a promise that everything will be all right You live a short period, then it’s gone fast Painting the picture, adding a touch of contrast So what's the point of dealing with shit so often When everybody forgets once you hit the coffin? Slow down, take a while Love life, fake a smile But only when I frown, I’m close to loving life Fuck life, too keen on tragedy, man I don’t know what’s right Like damn, am I serving yet? Or is everybody gonna keep spitting me onto their serviette? You can’t say I’m crazy when you don’t know half of it Lyrics on a track can’t begin to tell what’s happening I’m just tryna let it go, though I may never know If it gets better later, or if it’s forever, so [Chorus/Hook] - Alex-Ander & Basick Musick What happens when you can’t breathe anymore fresh air? Do you deal with the toxins and act like you don’t care? Who learns? Who wins? ‘cause I’ve been wondering the same damn thing (x2) What happens when you can’t breathe anymore fresh air? Who learns? Who wins? Do you deal with the toxins and act like you don’t care? ‘cause I’ve been wondering the same damn thing What happens when you can’t breathe anymore fresh air? Do you deal with the toxins and act like you don’t care? Who learns? Who wins? ‘cause I’ve been wondering the same damn thing
5.
[Intro] Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own Everybody has a private world where they can be alone Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you? [Verse] I’m just so fucking upset, I just can’t seem to let shit go I got a lotta things on my brain that I can’t maintain, here some things you better know Like I don’t give a fuck, I don’t give a damn, never had anybody take my hand To guide me through these thoughts, I know there’s a lot but when will you understand That I wanna be normal, I wanna be a good kid, I wanna move on with my life But I can’t when that negativity keeps pushing me back into the past life time Is it the trauma building up, or is the lack of serotonin? That I will never have, remember that, man I don’t even know where I’m going So I don’t know either why the fuck I’m still screaming at this microphone It’s just a relief for a little bit then I’m right back into the same old psycho zone Same old drugs, same old song and dance, and no one knows what it’s like To be afraid of every step you take ‘cause I don’t see shit all black and white [Chorus/Hook] - Eminem In my shoes, just to see What it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes Just to see what it'd be like to Feel your pain, you feel mine Go inside each other's minds Just to see what we find Look at shit through each other's eyes But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful, oh They can all get fucked Just stay true to you So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful Oh, they can all get fucked Just stay true to you, so
6.
[Verse 1] When I was younger, I had no motive to reach for I was playing sports and rolling on a skateboard Wasn’t good at much, I could shoot a nice shot But not well enough to land some money in my pock-et Left distraught with, no way to get paid Options running out, I never got good grades Picked up some pencils and I tried to draw I could draw some anime and a pretty cool skull But it wasn’t for me, it didn’t feel right Being me, I wasn’t going down without a fight Running out of time, I didn’t know what to do with life Then I put the pen to page and I started to write like uhh [Chorus/Hook] 1, 2, 3, baby, 3, 2, 1 Heading North, don’t mean to j-j-jump the gun 3, 2, 1, homie, 1, 2, 3 Mic check, nothing else steps in front of me And I been running for a few minutes I been nothing for a few minutes So crunch time, I gotta take a chance Make it right, and have the crowds waving their hands [Verse 2] Now people listen when I rip this, going ballistic Young man, but I know how to handle my business Got enemies now, now worshiping my tracks I’m content, no not perfectly intact But I will never be, hey, I’m cool with that though As long as I’m not still falling in that black hole At home, I wanna see plaques on the wall Yeah, no matter which way my back’s to the wall This is for me, it just feels right Rocky roads ahead, you know I’m ready to fight Always gotta work, this is all I got in life Just keep my head up and never think twice to write like ayy [Chorus/Hook] 1, 2, 3, baby, 3, 2, 1 Heading North, don’t mean to j-j-jump the gun 3, 2, 1, homie, 1, 2, 3 Mic check, nothing else steps in front of me And I been running for a few minutes I been nothing for a few minutes So it’s crunch time, I gotta take a chance Make it right, and have the crowds waving their hands 1, 2, 3, baby, 3, 2, 1 Heading North, don’t mean to j-j-jump the gun 3, 2, 1, homie, 1, 2, 3 Mic check, nothing else steps in front of me, and...

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released October 30, 2015

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Alex-Ander

Songwriter, sound engineer and recording artist.

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